By Jeanne Sather

If you have been diagnosed with cancer, it won't be long before someone--your doctor or a social worker most likely--suggests that you join a support group.

There are lots of options available, but there is no one perfect solution for everyone. You can attend meetings, participate in online discussions, or even write your own blog. You may need to do a little experimenting before you find one that works for you.

Traditional support groups
There are more kinds of support available for cancer patients than ever before.
Women with cancer are turning out for traditional support groups as well as support groups organized around an activity: knitting, dragon-boating, art therapy. You name it, they're there. I've found that women participate in these groups much more than men do.
Many hospitals and cancer centers run support groups. You will also find support groups at national organizations like Gilda's Club [1] and local groups such as Cancer Lifeline [2] in Seattle.

Groups are often organized by the type of cancer, so there are breast cancer support groups, prostate cancer support groups, lung cancer groups, and so on. It may be hard to find a group for some rare cancers, however, and some organizations have an "everybody else" group for these people.
Support groups are always free. Ask your nurse or social worker for a list of groups.
I talked to several cancer patients about their experiences with support groups. Most of them asked to be identified by first name only.

Teresa, who lives in Nebraska, has a rare cancer, adenoid cystic carcinoma [3]. She went to an in-person support group meeting for oral, head, and neck cancer only once, after her operation and before radiation.
"It was a good one to attend--they talked about how to keep lymphedema down in the head/neck region," she said.
She didn't go back because her treatment path was different than many others in the group.

Online support groups
I think cancer patients are moving away from tradition support groups and toward online support. One reason is logistics. With a traditional support group, you have to get there, which can be an if you are tired from chemo or radiation. Also, the groups meet at a specific time and place, which may not always work for you.
"I can get online support at any time of the day or night, just reading what's going on with other people helps and I can do that at my leisure," Dee said, from Corvallis, OR, who has breast cancer with skin and bone metastases.
Often, having an online support group is the only way to gather enough people with a particular type of cancer to even HAVE a forum.

That was the case for Debby, from San Antonio, Texas, who had acute lymphoblastic leukemia.
"Most of my support came from friends and family and the online support forums at the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society [4]," she said. "It was the only place that we really had a large group of transplant patients."
John, from Indiana, has oral cancer. He also prefers online support.
"If I do not like it, I can walk and never be bothered again," he said.

Carver, from North Carolina, had stage III melanoma. She found the the Melanoma Patient's Information Page [5], which is for melanoma patients and the people who care for them, helpful. She added a caution about participating in online groups.
"This particular group can be great but is not closely moderated and people are at a vulnerable point in their lives so emotions and opinions can run hot at times," she said.
Online groups usually will have a moderator who will delete inappropriate comments and keep people in line. With a blog, the publisher of the blog plays this role.

Reading and writing blogs
A recent article suggested that keeping an online diary can be like attending group therapy [6]. Thousands of cancer patients in the United States are writing their own blogs, and getting support that way.

Some of my favorite blogs are:

• The Cheeky Librarian [7] by Teri
• The Sakurako Chronicles [8] by Amorette
• Debutaunt [9] by Deb
• Dee Updates [10] by Deanna
• Rebel1in8 [11] by Jacqueline
• Moving Right Along [12] by Sara
• Not Just About Cancer [13] by Laurie

Deanna said writing a blog has helped her in several ways.

"So many of my friends and family check in to see how I'm doing and that saves me a lot of having to tell my stories over and over again," she said. "It has also showed me how much people care. I know that they are thinking about me and that helps knowing that that support is there."

Finding the right support for you
You may need to go to a support group two or three times before you know if the group is right for you, or you may feel right at home the very first time. Don't feel that you have to continue to attend if you don't feel comfortable in the group.
For me, in-person support groups don't work very well. The main reason is that I am a person who tends to take on other people's problems.
Another reason is that I have advanced (metastatic) breast cancer, so I don't really belong in a group with women who are going through treatment for the first time. I have more in common with the friends I've met through my blog [14], who have all different kinds of cancer, but many of whom have lived with cancer for years.

Jeanne Sather is an outspoken advocate for the cancer patient's point of view and writes at The Assertive Cancer Patient [15].